From the Bookshelf: Dealing with Loss

Today marks the 13th anniversary of the death of our oldest son, Peter. To mark the date, here are some books that deal with grief that I have found to be helpful in coping with the change the loss made in my life.

When God Doesn't Make Sense was written back when Dobson really did "focus on the family" rather than politics, and this book offers many wise words on dealing with loss. My sister-in-law Connie sent it to me shortly after Peter died and it was the first book (of many) I read in trying to sort out changes wrought by his death.

Publisher's Summary: An immensely practical book for those who are struggling with trials and heartaches they can't understand. Why does disease, divorce, rejection, death, or sorrow seep into our lives when we are trying to serve the Lord? It just doesn't seem fair! This book deals unflinchingly with life's most troubling question -- the awesome "Why?"


Disappointment with God is written by one of my favorite Christian authors, Philip Yancey.

Publisher's Summary: "Is God Unfair? Is God Silent? Is God Hidden?" These questions are asked with piercing honesty and biblical certainty. Step by step, Philip Yancey retraces the long journey toward understanding the answers to these and other questions. If God desires our love, why does he sometimes put obstacles in the way? Why does he seem so distant? What can we expect from him after all? No part of the Bible goes unstudied in the author's search for God's hidden nature in this compelling and profound book.


When God Weeps is written by Joni Eareckson Tada, who has certainly had much loss in her life and has had much time to reflect upon it.

Publisher's Summary: "If God is loving, why is there suffering? What's the difference between permitting something and ordaining it? When bad things happen, who's behind them -- God or the devil?" When suffering touches our lives, questions like these suddenly demand an answer. From our perspective, suffering doesn't make sense, especially when we believe in a loving and just God.

After more than thirty years in a wheelchair, Joni Eareckson Tada's intimate experience with suffering gives her a special understanding of God's intentions for us in our pain. Together with her lifelong friend, Steven Estes, she probes beyond glib answers that fail us in our time of deepest need. Instead, with firmness and compassion, they reveal a God big enough to understand our suffering, wise enough to allow it -- and powerful enough to use it for a greater good than we can ever imagine.


A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss is written by Gerald L. Sittser, who is also very familiar with grief.

Publisher's Summary: Loss came suddenly for Gerald Sittser. In an instant, a tragic accident claimed three generations of his family: his mother, his wife, and his young daughter. While most of us will not experience loss in such a catastrophic form, all of us will taste it. And we can, if we choose, know as well the grace that transforms it.

A Grace Disguised plumbs the depths of our sorrows, whether due to illness, divorce, or the loss of someone we love. The circumstances are not important; what we do with those circumstances is. In coming to the end of ourselves, we can come to the beginning of a new life -- one marked by spiritual depth, joy, compassion, and a deeper appreciation of simple blessings.


Celebrating the Wrath of God by Jim McGuiggan lives up to it's thought provoking title. This book was written in 2001, so it has been a more recent read for me than the previous four.

Publisher's Summary: Is there a purpose to suffering and loss? Just by living, we see and experience how agonizing life can be. We are surrounded by child abuse and neglect, starving families, premature deaths of those we love, natural disasters, and global disease. How could a God worthy of respect and worship allow such a world to exist?

There are no simple answers. But there is hope. Author Jim McGuiggan believes that suffering may in fact be the last thing we expect -- an expression of God's wrath, which is in turn nothing other than his relentless, loving pursuit of us. If this is true, then suffering is a vital part of God's work to redeem his creation. Give this claim a hearing, and you just might see the suffering world in a new way -- a world shot through with glory and hope and assurance.


This book, Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb, was recommended to me by another sister-in-law, Cindy. (I've got seven of them, so this could go on and on, but this is the last one for now.)

Publisher's Summary: "Shattered dreams," writes Dr. Larry Crabb, "are never random. They are always a piece in a larger puzzle, a chapter in a larger story. The Holy Spirit uses the pain of shattered dreams to help us discover our desire for God, to help us begin dreaming the highest dream. They are ordained opportunities for the Spirit first to awaken, then to satisfy our highest dream."

To help you understand this neglected truth in the deepest and most helpful way, Larry Crabb has written a wise, hopeful, honest, and realistic examination of life's difficulties and tragedies. He wraps his insights around the bold story of Naomi in the Bible's book of Ruth.

As Crabb retells and illuminates this sometimes disturbing and often profoundly touching story, we are shown how God stripped Naomi of happiness in order to prepare her for joy. And we gain an unforgettable picture of how God uses shattered dreams to release better dreams and a more fullfilling life for those He loves. Shattered dreams have the power to change our lives for good. Forever.


Anyone have any other recommendations? You'll notice (if you actually made it all the way to the end of this list) that these books all have to do with God and loss. Thinking about these books made me curious about what type of books people who do not believe in God read to help them cope with loss. Post a comment if you can recommend a title.

Browsing for Best Books of 2005

Amazon.com has a list of their "Editor's Choice" Best Books of 2005. There are 50 books listed, only one of which I have read.

Here are their Best Sellers of 2005, two of which I've read (this is an interesting list).

"S" is for Silence by Sue Grafton

Fiction: Modern Detective. Unabridged Audio from Random House Audio. 12 hours and 7 minutes. Published in 2005. Recorded in 2005. Read by Judy Kaye. Purchased from Audible.com.

I finished this latest Kinsey Millhone Mystery a while back, but life conspired to keep me from getting it blogged. My mom introduced me to this series several years ago, and I've read quite a few of them since then. If you aren't familiar with the Kinsey Millhone Mysteries, they begin with "A" is for Alibi, and work their way through the alphabet, to the latest offering "S" is for Silence. They are not deep reading by any stretch, but are a pleasing example of the genre.

For more information on Sue Grafton and her Alphabet Series visit: www.suegrafton.com

Publisher's summary:
Thirty-four years ago, Violet Sullivan put on her party finery and left for the annual Fourth of July fireworks display. She was never seen again.

In the small California town of Serena Station, tongues wagged. Some said she'd run off with a lover. Some said she was murdered by her husband.

But for the not-quite-seven-year-old daughter Daisy she left behind, Violet's absence has never been explained or forgotten.

Now, 34 years later, she wants the solace of closure.

To buy from amazon.co.uk, click here: "S" Is for Silence
from amazon.com, click here: "S" is for Silence
from Audible.com, click here: "S" is for Silence

Google and Books

Google offers a book search that I think is just fabulous.

Another "Books for Kids" Charity Option

First Book is a national nonprofit organization with a single mission: to give children from low-income families the opportunity to read and own their first new books. By visiting www.firstbook.org you can support First Book today!

Jack: C. S. Lewis and His Times by George Sayer

Biography. Hardback from the now defunct Harper & Row (now HarperCollins). Published in 1988. From Herrick Public Library via interlibrary loan.

I thoroughly enjoyed this biography of C. S. Lewis. Somewhere on the internet (why don't I take better notes of where I get book recommendations?), someone said this was the one to read. Having only read Surprised by Joy I don't have a lot of experience with C. S. Lewis biographies. However, I certainly would not quarrel with describing this as a very well done biography. We benefit greatly by the author's relationship with Lewis. There is much to be learned of Jack and his life between these pages. A very engrossing memoir.

Publisher's summary:
A warm and perceptive insider's look at the life of C. S. Lewis, Jack is a personal biography of the gifted literary scholar, bestselling author, and one of this century's most influential Christian apologists. George Sayer, a long-time colleague and friend of Lewis, shares a wealth of information that only a trusted member of Lewis' inner circle could draw upon. He provides fresh and enlightening glimpses of life at the Kilns; days at Magdalen College; meetings with the Inklings; and the creative process that produced such world famous works as Out of the Silent Planet, Mere Christianity, the classic Chronicles of Narnia, and many others.

To buy used from amazon.co.uk, click here: Jack: C.S. Lewis and His Times
used from amazon.com, click here: Jack: C.S. Lewis and His Times

Wireless at the Library

Our local library just added free wireless! What a happy thing. :-)

This article talks about Seattle being the most literate US city. In part this is because of their excellent libraries. I've lived in cities with great libraries and some with pitiful libraries. We are blessed here in Grand Rapids with an excellent library system.

How about any of the rest of you? Good libraries in your town, or not so good?

From the Bookshelf: Ten Questions to Diagnose Your Spiritual Health by Donald S. Whitney

Non-Fiction. Paperback from NavPress. Published in 2001. Borrowed first from the Cascade Library then purchased from NavPress.

There are many wonderful books on Spiritual Disciplines, including another book by this same author: Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life. This slim 131 page volume takes a bit of a different approach in giving you some questions to help you decide if your practice of the spiritual disciplines is headed in the right direction, rather than giving advice on the actual execution of them. Throughout the book there are many good reminders of the ultimate goal of our implementation of spiritual disciplines.

Publisher's summary:
Most Christians desire a deeper walk with Christ. Many are pursuing activities geared to help them grow spiritually. But many believers wonder if they are really making progress. They're spiritually active, but are they spiritually healthy? Would Jesus look at their endeavors (prayer, church attendance, evangelism, Bible study, etc.) and pronounce them spiritually fit? Or does He have an altogether different set of criteria by which He measures their spiritual well-being?

Best-selling author Don Whitney (Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life) is no stranger to activities and disciplines designed to move believers toward a deeper relationship with Jesus. The ten probing questions Whitney poses in this book will help readers look beyond their spiritual activity to assess the true state of their spiritual health. His questions cut to the heart of the matter: Is the reader's character becoming more like Christ's?

There's a difference between being spiritually healthy and being spiritually busy. Don Whitney poses ten probing questions to help you evaluate your growth in important areas of your life.

To buy from amazon.co.uk, click here: Ten Questions to Diagnose Your Spiritual Health
from amazon.com, click here: Ten Questions to Diagnose Your Spiritual Health

a Generous Orthodoxy by Brian D. McLaren

Non-Fiction. Hardback from Zondervan. Published in 2004. Purchased at Kregel Bookstores.

a Generous Orthodoxy: Why I Am a Missional, Evangelical, Post/Protestant, Liberal/Conservative, Mystical/Poetic, Biblical, Charismatic/Contemplative, Fundamentalist/Calvinist, Anabaptist/Anglican, Methodist, Catholic, Green, Incarnational, Depressed-yet-Hopeful, Emergent, Unfinished CHRISTIAN is the full title of this book. Blogger thinks that is a few to many words for a title, so you get the whole thing here.

a Generous Orthodoxy has been over in the sidebar there for quite a while as my "Current Read". It took me a spell to get it read. This in no way reflects on the quality of the book. It was a very interesting read - the type of book that I go after with a highlighter. As McLaren goes through the different labels for Christians in each chapter, he talks about the good that can be gleaned from each approach to Christianity (and some of the pitfalls of each to avoid). He strays a bit from what is typically considered a Christian label in the chapter on being "Green", but makes a good case for why it should be a Christian characteristic.

Coming from a church heritage that has often acted as if they are the only ones who have it correct, it was refreshing to me to hear about what other denominations do right. His chapter on being an unfinished Christian is a good summary of why we should never feel like we have it all worked out perfectly.

Publisher's summary:
A confession and manifesto from a senior leader in the emerging church movement—a Generous Orthodoxy calls for a radical, Christ-centered orthodoxy of faith and practice in a missional, generous spirit. Brian McLaren argues for a post-liberal, post-conservative, post-protestant convergence, which will stimulate lively interest and global conversation among thoughtful Christians from all traditions.

In a sweeping exploration of belief, author Brian McLaren takes us across the landscape of faith, envisioning an orthodoxy that aims for Jesus, is driven by love, and is defined by missional intent. a Generous Orthodoxy rediscovers the mysterious and compelling ways that Jesus can be embraced across the entire Christian horizon. Rather than establishing what is and is not "orthodox," McLaren walks through the many traditions of faith, bringing to the center a way of life that draws us closer to Christ and to each other.

Whether you find yourself inside, outside, or somewhere on the fringe of Christianity, a Generous Orthodoxy draws you toward a way of living that looks beyond the "us/them" paradigm to the blessed and ancient paradox of "we."

To buy from amazon.co.uk, click here: a Generous Orthodoxy
from amazon.com, click here:a Generous Orthodoxy

Magic Street by Orson Scott Card

Fantasy/Fiction. Hardback from Del Ray. Published in 2005. On loan from Kent District Library, Cascade Branch.

In a previous book, Enchantment, Card added to the story of Sleeping Beauty. In Magic Street Fairy characters from Shakespeare's plays moved forward to today's world are the foundation on which he built this story.

I appreciate that Orson Scott Card does not discount God in his stories, nor does he make those who are believers all the "bad guys" as is often found in this genre. (Not that I am saying that believers have not been the bad guys plenty of times in real life, but that it is nice to find a book that knows that believers can be good, too.)

Publisher's summary:
Orson Scott Card has the distinction of having swept both the Hugo and Nebula awards in two consecutive years with his amazing novels Ender’s Game and Speaker for the Dead. For a body of work that ranges from science fiction to nonfiction to plays, Card has been recognized as an author who provides vivid, colorful glimpses between the world we know and worlds we can only imagine.

In a peaceful, prosperous African American neighborhood in Los Angeles, Mack Street is a mystery child who has somehow found a home. Discovered abandoned in an overgrown park, raised by a blunt-speaking single woman, Mack comes and goes from family to family–a boy who is at once surrounded by boisterous characters and deeply alone. But while Mack senses that he is different from most, and knows that he has strange powers, he cannot possibly understand how unusual he is until the day he sees, in a thin slice of space, a narrow house. Beyond it is a backyard–and an entryway into an extraordinary world stretching off into an exotic distance of geography, history, and magic.

Passing through the skinny house that no one else can see, Mack is plunged into a realm where time and reality are skewed, a place where what Mack does and sees seem to have strange affects in the “real world” of concrete, cars, commerce, and conflict. Growing into a tall, powerful young man, pursuing a forbidden relationship, and using Shakespeare’s Midsummer’s Night Dream as a guide into the vast, timeless fantasy world, Mack becomes a player in an epic drama. Understanding this drama is Mack’s challenge. His reward, if he can survive the trip, is discovering not only who he really is . . . but why he exists.

Both a novel of constantly surprising entertainment and a tale of breathtaking literary power, Magic Street is a masterwork from a supremely gifted, utterly original American writer–a novel that uses realism and fantasy to delight, challenge, and satisfy on the most profound levels.

To buy from amazon.co.uk, click here: Magic Street
from amazon.com, click here: Magic Street